It was just another day in the Mushroom Kingdom. Princess Peach was in her castle, bored to death. Her bedroom was very large and beautiful, with a soft carpet colored dark purple, and slightly lighter colored curtains on her windows. They were parted slightly, to allow the sunlight in, which bounced of the large mirror on the far wall to illuminate Peach's face in its glow. "I am so tired of being shut up like a helpless creature! I'm not going to get captured by Bowser again! I'm not!" But, in her mind, she was thinking, (as long as Mario and Luigi are here, that is.)
The princess was not talking to herself, as her favorite mushroom retainer, Toad, was standing near one of the many windows in the room, staring out. Toad was her favorite for many reasons, and the fact that he was the youngest and most adventurous was one of them. Unfortunately, his age was what caused him to be overruled in most of his suggestions by the older retainers.
"I know, Peach, but there's nothing I can do. All the other retainers decided to keep you inside where you'll be safe, even though I told them it would be a bad idea!"
Peach rolled over on her bed to face him. She looked very fragile, indeed, but she was actually quite strong. She had been forced into the position of queen (which she really was, but everyone called her the princess still) at a very young age, when her family was killed off by a strange disease. Not long after this, she had been forced to lead her people through a devastating war with the koopas, in which she had been kidnapped by the Koopa King, Bowser. All of her people had been transformed into bricks, plants, and other objects, and some had even abandoned their people and joined Bowser's army. The Super Mario Brothers had saved them all, of course, and had since become not only her protectors, but her best friends, as well.
"I can't believe they're doing this! It's so unfair... I think I'm going to die of claustrophobia!"
Before she could manage this, however, the door to her room opened and Gus, an older Mushroom Retainer, walked in. He looked at Toad with an air of superiority,and Toad had to try very hard to not make a face at him.
"Your Highness, we have just received a message from the Koopahari Desert,from Lord Torrid...."
"It's the Kalimari desert! I don't care what Bowser has renamed it! Only koopa vermin use that name, do you understand? Or are you a goomba?"
"Of course your Highness, It'll never happen again! Now uhh... for the message...He is worried about the approaching army of koopas...lets see...they seem to have recruited some desert allies now...uhhh...such as Cobrats and Pokeys....and they have a bunch of snifits, beezos..."
"Okay, I get the picture! Is there anything else in there other than the names of our enemies?"
"Umm...yes, at the end the word 'help' is written in very large letters..."
Usually Gus was very composed and level-headed, but when the princess was in one of her moods she could unnerve anyone. Toad had been watching Gus with a growing smile on his face, but one scalding look from him caused it to slide off with amazing speed. (he would just die if the others found out about this...) Toad thought.
"Well, I guess you'll just have to give him my condolences, and maybe you'd also like to inform him that I can't possibly offer assistance because I'm being held against my will because I'm far to frail and vulnerable to be let out of my room, too?"
At this, Gus flushed with anger and embarrassment. (Geez, maybe we should've listened to that brat of a Mushroom Retainer!) he thought, but of course he would've never said this out loud.
"Surely you are joking! We cannot just refuse to help!"
Peach smiled sweetly and gave Gus a look that Toad recognized as Peach at her worst. Gus, however, did not know Peach as well as Toad, and took it to mean that she had cooled off and was ready to talk rationally.
"Of course I'm not going to refuse to help."
"But...You just said..."
"That I can't help because you and the other five rulers of my life in there have decided that I'm still a two year old and can't take care of myself! That's what I said, and the fact that I have to say it absolutely disgusts me! You make me so sick!"
As she said, well, yelled this, she stood up and walked up to Gus, and when she finished she was right in his face, had one retainer about to pee his pants, and another retainer about to explode from holding in his laughter. That one, of course, was Toad, who had known that the pissed off bomb of a princess had been about to detonate. He had turned toward the window to hide his huge grin at the older retainer, who was now gibbering apologies and such. Only four people had ever not been reduced to this state following a royal blast, which were himself, Mario, Luigi, and Bowser.
As he stared out the window, he saw something interesting transpiring in the large metropolis that was the capital of the Mushroom Kingdom. It was generally reffered to as the Mushroom Village, but it was in fact a very large city. There weren't any sky scrapers and such, but there was a very lively town square surrounding the palace, where there were mushroom people buying and selling various objects, small mushroom children playing games like hopscotch and jump rope, and several guards to settle the minor disputes that erupted every now and then. In the distance, many mushroom-shaped houses were visible. Our word for them is track homes, but they don't have a special name in the Mushroom Kingdom. There was also a large port that sailed to many places, including the famous Yoshi's Island.
The event that Toad took up watching while Peach yelled at her frightened servant was an argument involving a Mushroom and a visitor from Nimbus Land, also known as Skyland. The young puffball had apparently been trying to sell the angry mushroom some sort of trinket, and the Mushroom had been so offended by the object that he had called the guards. (I wonder what it could be?) Toad thought. (There aren't very many things around that would cause a mushroom to get so pissed...)
Before Toad could get a better look at the object in question, though, Peach grabbed him and practically drug him toward the royal bus station.
"Honestly, Toad sometimes I think you're on a different planet! Didn't you hear a word I just said?" Toad shook his head and concentrated very hard on regaining his feet before he could be afflicted with a painful rugburn. As he did this, Peach recounted what had happened after Toad had lost interest, as she put it. Not surprisingly, she had 'convinced' Gus that letting her outside was in his best interest. She had also 'requested' that he call one of the royal busses of Nimbus Land to take her to the Kalimari Desert. The prince of that kingdom was a good friend of hers, and had granted her use of the royal transportation of Nimbus Land. Meanwhile, Toad managed to get to his feet and was now being forced to go at a pace that was not suited for his small legs.
"I...get...too ...huff...puff..ride..on...the...cool...bus?"
"No, we're only heading toward one so we can watch it idle!" She stopped in front of the large bus, which was made entirely up of white, fluffy clouds, and looked at Toad disapprovingly. He was flushed and gasping for breath.
"Really, Toad, maybe you should go visit the Mushroom Gym for a couple hours each day and run on their treadmill!"
"No...it's...okay...."
"C'mon Princess, I'm wasting gas!" The bus driver looked at them impatiently. Peach and Toad hopped on the bus and set off for...
"Hey, Peach, this isn't the way to Desertland!"
"Of course not, Toad. I consider myself to be a good fighter, but do you really think I could take on an entire army of koopas by myself?"
"Well..."
"Of course not. We're going to pick up the Mario Brothers!"
And so, in the burning afternoon sun, the 'cool bus' made its way toward the dwelling of our favorite plumbers, Mario and Luigi, as, above them, the strange clouds with even stranger faces smiled endlessly.
Mario and Luigi lived in a common mushroom house, but it was biggerthan most of them. It was colored green with white spots, and was very spacious on the inside. Mario and Luigi were watching a rerun of their cartoon on their big screen TV.
"I can't believe they got so many things wrong here!"
"I know, they forgot Bowser's hair, colored him competely green, gave Peach red hair, got lakitu ALL wrong..."
They proceeded to name every fault in the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, which took quite a while, and when they had finished the episode was already over. They then proceeded to become bored.
"What d'ya wanna do Weege? I think if I stay here I might go insane!"
"How about we try to name every fault in the Super Mario Brothers Movie?"
"That's impossible. There's far too many problems in that movie to name them all, unless you suddenly found a way to live forever..."
"Yeah, I guess you're right..."
They then thought of and rejected some other popular passtimes, including golf and gokart racing, when their telephone rang. Mario proceeded to pick up the phone, and was greeted by a familar voice.
"Hey Yoshi! What's up?"
"Well, today we're setting up for a big party! Tomorrow my friends and I are going to throw a party to raise funds for a special house for the Super Happy Tree!"
This may sound a bit paranoid, but the removal of the Super Happy Tree from Yoshi's Island causes all of the Yoshis to turn into cardboard-like figures in a pop-up story book. Bowser was intent on destroying the Yoshis, who considered koopas to be a fine meal, and taking away the Super Happy Tree was definitely a quick, easy way to do it. So the Yoshis had all decided it was in their best interest to get a nice greenhouse built for their tree.
"Yeah, we saw the flyers in the Village Square the other day. A lot of people are planning on coming!"
"I know! Which is why I called. We could really use some help setting up, and since you guys have real arms...."
"Oh, okay. We're not planning anything, right, Weege?"
Luigi had been listening to the entire conversation on the extra phone in his bedroom, and was a bit surprised to be directly addressed.
"Huh? Oh...no, we're not doing anything..."
"I really wish you'd stop doing that!"
"Well, Yoshi's my friend too, and I have every right to listen to this conversation!"
"Uhh, Mario? Are you there?"
"Yeah I'm still here, Yoshi. We'll be over soon, don't worry!"
"Okay! Since you guys are going to help, we'll let you in for free!"
"Cool!"
The reason everyone was so eager to go to the Yoshi party was very simple. Not only was Yoshi's Island a vacationer's paradise, it was also home to the most delicious fruits and exotic foods anywhere. The only import that sold better than the wine made from the grapes on Yoshi's Island was the healing medicine from the far-off country of Hyrule, which was called kerokerocola in the Mushroom Kingdom.
Mario and Luigi started off toward...not the port, but the nearby stretch of uninhabited land commonly known as Mushroom Way. They proceeded to find some special brown 'raccoon leaves,' change into strange raccoon-human hybrids, and, in an amazing feat, use their newly grown tails to take to the sky. Flying is, of course, much faster (and cheaper) than sailing.
They soon sighted land, but it was not Yoshi's Island that was sighted. It was it's sister island, Chocolate Island. The land is entirely brown, which gives it it's name, and is home to fire-breathing dinosaurs. These dinosaurs are much more aggressive than Yoshis, and the sight of strange flying creatures coming toward them, they proceeded to blow fire.
"Whoa, watch out, bro!" Luigi cried, as a spurt of flame shot between the two.
"I'm trying, but there are too many to watch at once!"
Trying to think with a very large group of dinosaurs all intent on having roasted raccoon for dinner blowing fire at him, Mario veered toward the safety of the green forest near them, known as the Forest of Illusion. Luigi saw this, decided it was a good idea, and followed. He was just behind his brother and about to pass him when a well-aimed blast caused him to lose his strange raccoon tail (and ears, but that's not what's important), which of course means that he had no means to stay airborn.
"Mario! Yo! Heeeyyy!!"
"Hold on, Weege!"
"To what?" Luigi remarked, as he plummeted toward the rocky landscape below. Mario swung down sharply, barely avoiding the spurts of flame that were heading in his direction, and caught his brother at the last possible second. As luck would have it, though, just as he managed to land Luigi safely on the forest floor, a stray stream of fire caught him, causing him to land in a very ungraceful manner. When he opened his eyes, all he saw was the laughing face of his younger brother.
"You idiot, you just totally ruined the effect of your fantastic rescue!" He laughed. He leaned against a tree, looking at Mario with a totally brother-like "ha-ha" look on his face.
"Yeah well, I just saved your life, as I remember. What does that make, Luigi, thirty-one times since we arrived in The Mushroom Kingdom?"
"Well...sure, but I've saved your short little butt twenty-five times, so don't even start on that!"
"Oh, brother...."
"Where are we, anyway?"
"In a forest, duh. Gosh, sometimes you're stupid, bro."
"Shut up, you short little..."
Luigi's insult was never finished, and what word he was about to say we'll never know, but in any case the reason for this abrupt intrusion of their argument was that a large caterpillar came charging out of the brush and straight toward them.
"Whoa! Careful!"
"YOU be careful, I can take care of myself!" As he said this, Mario hopped on the caterpillars head, (which had a flower on it, for some reason), and managed to piss it off. The caterpillar's displeasure was shown by a change in color, and also by the strange flower on its head, which promptly fell off.
"Great, Mario. You've really made things better!"
"Shut up and run!"
Running worked fine for a while, but the fact that they got tired after a while, and also because the caterpillar had multiple legs that worked faster than theirs, made this form of escape....not work. So they did the next best thing...
"Mario, we've been sitting in this tree for over an hour, and my butt is really starting to hurt!"
"Would you rather get a butt cramp or be chomped by killer caterpillars?"
The caterpillar was still standing watch by the tree, and in the hour that had passed, some of his friends had joined him. They were surrounding the tree, and looking at them with expressions that clearly stated that they were in the mood for plumber soup.
"I think that that was a stupid question, bro." And so, they waited in the uncomfortable tree and developed painful butt cramps as night fell in the forest, and in the Mushroom Kingdom, and the strange clouds continued to smile endlessly at an uncaring world.
"Where are they? I can't believe they aren't here!"
This wasn't Peach talking, as I'm sure you automatically assumed, but Yoshi, who was also expecting our plumbers to be anywhere other than the Forest of Illusion. He was pacing back and forth in his simple house, which was really only a tree with a fire place, trying to think about what had happened to his friends. (though I'm not quite sure where a Yoshi's brain would be located...in their nose, maybe?)
"I'm sure they have a good reason for not being here, Yoshi."
"Yeah, yeah...but they've just forfeited any rights to free admission!"
The second yoshi so far in the story has the much more original name of Abba. He was, of course, named after the delicious candy bar, Abba Zabba. What were you thinking? Anyway, he was also pacing back in forth in his house, which was right next door to Yoshi's. However, he was doing this more to annoy Yoshi than to ponder the location of Mario and Luigi.
"Speaking of which, you better go help Zabba set up the ticket booth. He hates it when he has to do everything, you know!"
Zabba was Abba's younger brother, of course. As Yoshi helped Zabba set up the ticket booth, Abba went to the Yoshi Lagoon, which was the most popular area of Yoshi's Island during tourist season. He double checked the water for cheep-cheeps, which is an absolutely ridiculous name for a fish, and decided the water was safe. He casually ate a few melons with amazing ease, and then headed back toward Zabba and Yoshi. Before he could quite make it that far, though, a female yoshi voice called him.
"Abba! Hey, we could use your help setting up the buffet!"
"I'm coming, hold on..."
"Hurry up! I can't believe you were just relaxing when we have so much work to do! Geez!"
"Don't get all worked up, Zina! I was just eating, or do you want me to collapse from hunger?"
"Oh, right... Get in there and help serve the food! And don't you dare try to sneak any!"
"Okay, okay...don't bust an artery about it..."
As Abba was being forced into the ranks of kitchen workers, Yoshi and Zabba were setting up the large admission booth.
"How much were tickets again, Yoshi?"
"Umm... 20 coins, I think. Only 2 frog coins."
"Okay! I got the sign done...but I can't reach the hanger thingy!"
"I got it, Zabba. C'mon, let's go help set up the tables..."
And so the yoshis prepared for their party. At around 10:00 am, guests began to arrive. Yoshi was working at the ticket booth, and was becoming more and more worried about the Mario Bros. As the Yoshi's Island became more and more populated by Mushrooms, Puffballs, Sarasalanians, and even the occasional Hylian, Yoshi became more and more sure that something bad had happened. When the steady river of guests died down to a trickle, and Abba was released from Zina's cooks, Yoshi made his move.
"Abba! Hey, come here!"
"What do you want? Hurry up, I wanna go to the lagoon. It's hot out here!"
"Take over for me for a little while, I need to use the phone!"
"No way! I might be your childhood friend but this is too much too ask!"
"Please..."
Yoshi proceeded to give Abba such a guilt trip that he consented to take over...on the condition that Yoshi would trim his house, which was by far the messiest in Yoshi Villiage. With the ticket booth taken care of, Yoshi made his way through the partying group of...let's just call them people to save time, and dialed the Mario's number.
Someone did pick up, which shouldn't be surprising, where did you think Peach went? To the desert by herself?
"Yoshi! Are they with you?"
"Mario and Luigi? No, I was hoping they'd be...there."
"Well, they're not. I don't know where they went!"
"They were supposed to come help set up for our party, but they never showed up!"
And so Yoshi and Peach explained their reasons for needing the Mario Bros. Apparently, Peach had discovered that Mario and Luigi had been seen flying toward Yoshi's Island, but that was the last anyone had seen of them.
"So they must be there!"
"They never made it here, but they might've landed on one of the surrounding islands...but it'll take forever to search all of Dinosaur World!"
<>"Well, we have to find them before the koopas take over Desertland completely! I'll be right over!"And so Peach and Toad started out for Yoshi's Island, much to the annoyance of the bus driver... but as they started on their way, Yoshi decided he might as well start the search immediately. He started back through the crowd of partygoers, who were rocking to the music of Offspring, Blink 182, and similar alternative bands. (wish I could relax and have fun, too) he thought, as he waded through the mass of ...people. Just when it looked like he would make it out in one piece, some idiot put on the Spice Girls right in the middle of "All the Small Things," and a riot broke out.
This, of course, inhibited his progress greatly, and he was unable to make it back to the ticket booth until the problem was corrected, the idiot was punished, and Blink 182 was once again blasting throughout the Island. When he finally reached Abba, he was not surprised to see his friend in a sour mood.
"What took you so long?"
"Riot...Spice Girls...gasp...wheeze...bad..."
"Oh, you got stuck in that, huh? Too bad."
Yoshi proceeded to tell Abba what was happening, and Abba managed to get this message to the partyers, and so a search was started. Peach arrived not long after, and proceeded to request Brittany Spears, and so another riot was formed. This differed to the previous one in that Brittany actually had some supporters, unlike the Spice Girls.
And as the afternoon dies out into night and bonfires are started all over the island, we find that our treed friends really do have brains, after all...not to mention a single cloud with a face floating above the forest...
When we left Mario and Luigi, they were in a very difficult situation...well, you should remember, it was only two chapters ago! So, as the caterpilliars diligently kept watch over them, Mario and Luigi formed an ingenious plan.
"Are you sure this'll work?"
"Of course, Weege. Have my plans ever went wrong?"
"Well..."
"Don't answer that! Just trust me on this one, okay?"
Mario's plan was really very simple. All that was involved was a little climbing. The trees in the Forest of Illusion were so tightly packed, the branches of one tree intertwined with the trees around it. So, it was perfectly possible to climb from tree to tree until they escaped the forest. The caterpillars fell asleep while Mario and Luigi perfected their plan...but it was still impossible to get out of the tree without waking them up. So they started their journey through the trees...
"Mario, this is crazy! how long do these trees go on?"
"Just hold out a little longer, bro...I think we're almost out."
"That's what you said a half-hour ago!"
They swung for a while longer....
"I don't know how Donkey Kong does it..."
"He's a gorilla, Weege. It comes to him naturally."
"But still!"
And a while longer...
"Hey, is that a clearing??"
"I hope so...my arms are going to fall off!"
"Not likely, Weege."
And so they made their way to the clearing. In the center of it was a very strange star symbol. Mario and Luigi weren't sure what it was, but of course, being the curious plumbers that they were, they promptly stepped on it...
And were promptly taken prisoner by a bunch of Koopas in loincloths and feather masks chanting a litany to Green Day!
Just kidding, but that's what COULD have happened... but, as you probably already figured out, they were warped to a star-shaped land with similar warp tiles at each leg of the star. The ground was colored a peculiar shade of blue, and the entire land mass seemed to be suspended in...space.
"Whoa, what a trip..."
"Yeah, where do you suppose we are now?"
"I don't know, bro, but one of these stars probably leads to Yoshi's Island."
"Maybe... But which one?"
And so they proceeded to recklessly step on each tile, and found, of course, that none of them zapped them out at Yoshi's Island. However, as they stepped on the last one, they were spit out near a large body of water, where a drunken group that made up a hurriedly put together search party were being led by Abba. Abba was, in fact, the only one sober enough to be calling out their names. Everyone else had quite forgotten what it was they were searching for and were screwing around in the lake.
"Mario! Luigi! C'mon you guys, at least make an attempt at finding them!"
"Hey! Is that you, Yoshi?"
"Mario, that can't be yoshi. He's yellow."
"Well, he looked green for a second in the torchlight, okay?"
"Mario? Hey, guys! Yoshi's at the ticket booth waiting for Peach and this mushroom...I think his name was Toad. Come to think of it, she's probably already there. Where have you guys been? Yoshi's been worried sick!"
"It's a long story. Let's just say we had technical difficulties for now. Peach and Toad are here?"
"They should be. C'mon, let's go before Yoshi worries himself to death!"
"What about them?" Luigi asked, indicating the drunken mob in the lake.
"They'll make it home as soon as they get sober enough to walk." (if,) Abba thought, (they don't drown themselves first...)
They made their way back to the ticket booth, and were immediately bombarded with questions from both Peach and Yoshi.
"Where have you been?"
"What happened?"
"Are you guys okay?"
"How did you manage to lose yourselves this time?"
"Okay, geez, we can't answer everything at once! Listen up..."
Mario and Luigi related their tragic tale to Yoshi and Peach, were promptly laughed at, and were then informed about the desert dilemma that was now three days old. Soon after, Peach and Toad returned to the seriously ticked off bus driver and loaded their three new passengers on...Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi.
"You guys are just lucky Yoshi's Island has a gas station... I'm expecting a seriously huge tip for this!"
And as the blackness of night brightened to the softer purples of early morning, and the puffy cloud bus took off toward the Kalimari Desert, The interesting songs of Sublime could be heard on Yoshi's Island and the smell of dying bonfires filled the air. And a strangely familiar faced cloud could be seen floating leisurely above the island.
Bowser sat in his royal tent at the head of his caravan. He had just awakened from a sleep that had not been particularly restful. He yawned irritably and peered into the already hot sun from the opening of his tent. It was early morning still, but the sun was already burning hot enough to warm the sand to the point of being painful if stood on for more than a few seconds. Bowser looked over the expanse of sand dunes and saw the desert palace in the distance.
"Very soon," Bowser said to himself, "That palace will be inhabited by my armies, and I will be King of this land!"
"Of course you will be, Bowser, but even mighty kings must eat their breakfast."
This intruder in the thoughts of the Koopa King was Kamek, the powerful Magikoopa who had raised Bowser from the day he was hatched. He was feared and respected by all the koopas. Even Bowser's bull-headed children feared him in one way or another.
"Kamek! what have I told you about sneaking up on me like that?"
"A thousand apologies, your Majesty. But I have good news for you. Other than the fact that your favorite breakfast, bacon and eggs (what were you thinking?) has been prepared, the armies of desert vermin have reached us and pledged their loyalty."
" I'm pleased to hear that nothing has infringed on my takeover here. What of the Mario Brothers?"
"They were last seen far from here, on Yoshi's Island, sire."
"Excellent. It would take them weeks to travel here from there, even if they rode one of their pitiful Yoshi friends."
"Exactly. Now, about that breakfast..."
Bowser proceeded to gorge himself with bacon, eggs, and a large quantity of orange juice. After he had stuffed himself, he summoned his elitegroup of koopas that had been extensively trained in the art of war. Besides Kamek, there was also Zhen, the head of ground Troops, and Taina, the head of all Para troops.
"Now, for our strategy. The real danger of this assault lies not in the palace itself, but in the many desert traps around it."
"Good point, Zhen. The Para troops can attack first. A Goomba with wings can't be caught in a sand trap!"
"No good, Taina. Many traps not only involve quick sand, but also flying projectiles that could severely impair the effectiveness of our airborn army."
"I see."
"Zhen is right about the projectile traps, but you all fail to realize that Kamek's Magikoopas could easily root out any traps."
"Of course, my king. That would be simple enough. My Magikoopas can easily spring the simple traps set by the desert dwellers."
"Now, about the problem of super-heated sand. The ground troops won't last very long on it..."
The four plotters sat in their tent for hours, modeling and perfecting a suitable plan of attack. The only times they were interrupted were when servants were called in to bring in water or food. After a long while, the four had finally perfected a plan that satisfied everyone. The ground troops would be transported to the site of attack by airship, while the other troops flew by their own means. The magikoopas would quietly disable all traps on the back side of the palace, and set off all the traps in the front. Presumably, all the defending mushrooms would rush off to the front to see what had set off the traps, and this would leave the way clear for the ground troops to storm the palace from the back and take them by surprise. When the castle was secured, The Magikoopas would create a force-field to keep all prisoners in and all heroes out. The air troops would patrol the outside, since they didn't have to worry about hot sand conditions. Bowser would then imprison Lord Torrid and assume the throne. And another small conquest toward the eventual take over of the entire kingdom would be complete.
"Now that we have a definite strategy, we have only one more thing to decide..."
"What's that, Taina?"
"When to attack!"
"Early tomorrow, of course."
"Of course, my king. I will ready the para troops now!"
"And I the ground troops."
"And I the Magikoopas..."
And so, as another day falls, it seems that the koopas are finally prepared to launch a full-scale attack on the desert palace. But as the great siege plan had been being formed, Bowser had been sure that the only ones capable of ruining their plan miles away, when they were really in plain sight from Bowser's royal tent. And, in the broad expanse of desert sky, there floated one single strange smiling cloud...
The bus floated for a full day after leaving Yoshi's Island. Our party of five (no pun intended) slept nearly the entire time, since they had been awake for nearly three days (somehow). The already-ticked off bus driver awakened them by shouting quite rudely, as the desert palace came into view.
"Hey! Wake up, you gas-hogging idiots, we're almost there! And I'm not going to take you anywhere else, so you just better prepare....to...evacuate!"
This did, of course, offend Peach mightily, and she immediately went into explosive mode. What followed was a very loud argument that woke everyone who had not been awakened by the bus driver's offending exclamation, and this in turn made Toad a bit grumpy, since he had been having a rather nice dream. It was about him, an electric guitar, and some fame, of course. What were you thinking?
And so, when the fivesome entered the desert palace of Lord Torrid, it was with a pissed off princess, a hungry yoshi, two sleepy plumbers, and a irritated mushroom. Not very promising. Lord Torrid apparrently came to the same conclusion, and was very dissappointed with Princess Peach's 'help.'
"This is it?! Four....people? This is our protection against the mass of Koopas about to overrun the Koopahari and enslave every single inhabitant that opposes the tyranical rule of the Koopa King? You're joking, right?"
"Of course not! We five have beaten Bowser before. What makes you think we can't do it now?" Of course, Peach's bold statement of 'we five' was completely incorrect, but none of her companions really noticed.
"Gee, I don't know, maybe the fact that five people against 10,0000 koopas makes for a pretty one-sided fight, don't you think?"
"Well, since obviously don't need our help, I guess we'll just be going back to Mushroom Villiage..."
Now, Torrid may have been a bit quick to anger, but he was definitely not stupid. (Some help is better than no help,) he figured, (and those plumber dudes have been making themselves nice reputations as koopa exterminators...)
"Wait! Don't go!"
"Hmmm?" Peach had already been headed out the door, followed by her four confused companions. She turned around, a bored look on her face.
"What is it? I thought you didn't need us."
"Forgive me, your Highness. I didn't mean to offend you or your companions. Please stay and help us in our defense!"
"I knew you'd see it my way."
After they had all showered and eaten, they met in a room on the topmost tower of the desert palace to discuss their strategy. They weren't in there for very long, but they apparently did make some plans, because soon after they were dismissed a large shipment of vegetables was flown in from Yoshi's Island, courtesy of the Blue Yoshi Express. Apparently, their enemies' greatest weakness was good, healthy vegetables. I have no idea why this is, but in any case a very large amount of produce was soon gathered in the desert palace. This was to be the main defense of the desert palace.
The second defense was the many traps around the palace, but you know their story already. The third defense was actually an offense involving the heroic group of five that this story centers upon...if all else failed, they were to launch a full scale attack on the leader of the army...in the hopes that when their leader fell, the entire army would fall apart. Little did they know that the Big Kahuna himself was leading the desert army...
As the day wore on, lookouts on top of the tower kept everyone in the palace aware of what the Koopa Troop was doing. In other words, if they were attacking or not. This left the Mario Bros. and their travelling companions extremely bored. Toad left to join the ranks of desert dwelling mushrooms in learning the art of accurately throwing vegetables, and Peach went and discussed political matters that Mario, Luigi, and Yoshi found both boring and confusing with Lord Torrid. This left them to do practically whatever they wanted, and so they sat down to an enthuisiastic game of five card draw. They had soon worked up a very good pot consisting of thirty coins, two free passes to the Yoshi Cafe, the best (and most expensive) restaurant in Yoshi's Island, and a very nice plunger.
"All right, whatcha got?"
"Two pair, Kings and Aces!"
"Well, I've got a straight flush!"
"Oh Yeah? Four of a kind, queens!"
"You suck, Luigi!"
And so, Luigi proceeded to collect Mario's plunger, Yoshi's passes, and the thirty coins contributed by the three of them.
"All part of the game, Yoshster." Yoshi sighed heavily.
" I know, but I thought I had it with my straight flush for sure!"
"What do you wanna do now, guys? I'm broke, thanks to someone!" That was followed by a rather hideous look directed toward Luigi. What followed was a comedic three-way face-making contest from which Yoshi emerged victorious with his Bowser face. How a yoshi can make a Bowser face I do not know, but you can try to picture it if you want. After that, they all unanimously agreed to a game of Chutes and Ladders.
Mario was ahead, with his character on the number 93, and was just about to roll, when an envoy from the throne room rudely interrupted the game. He informed the threesome that their presence was desired in the throne room, and all three of them immediately headed toward it. They didn't want to tick Peach of anymore than she already was, you see. And so they never knew that when Mario casually got up and tossed the die over his shoulder, the numbers that were displayed on their surfaces were four and three.
"Finally! What took you three so long?"
"Mario got us lost."
"Oh."
"I did not! I meant to go to the royal bathroom hall. I had to go. I don't know why you guys are always following me around..."
"Because you're our leader, dummy!"
"Okay, okay, calm down you guys, it's not that much of a crisis! Geez..."
"What did you want, Princess?"
"We all need our rest for the upcoming battle. Your rooms are located on the third floor in the west wing of the castle. It's already pretty late. I suggest you all go get ready for bed."
"Right. Third floor, west wing."
"Try not to get lost this time, all right?"
"Right!"
Amazingly enough, they all made it to their rooms without any major mishaps. Toad was already in his room, exhausted from his extensive vegetable throwing training session. He was snoring quite loudly when Mario, Luigi and Yoshi entered the hallway containing their rooms.
"I didn't know mushroom people could snore..."
"Of course they can, Weege."
"But they don't have a nose through which to snore!"
"Hmmm...hey, yeah, that is pretty interesting..."
"Hey, Yoshi, this must be your room," Luigi said, as there was a small egg painted on the upper half of the door. Yoshi opened it up, and inside there was a very spacious room containing a king sized bed, a large TV, and a very delicious-looking dinner.
"Yes! Food!" So saying, Yoshi dashed into his room and began to eat in what would have been a very sloppy manner if his method of eating had allowed a mess to form. Mario and Luigi, seeing that food awaited them in their rooms, quickly found their proper doors and dissapeared inside. After a serenade of disturbing noises that must have been them eating, snoring was heard all down the hall.
And so the Mario gang has finally reached the desert palace. Both plumbers and Koopa King seem to be in for a big surprise tomorrow, as neither party knows the other has decided to make an appearance in the suddenly popular Koopahari Desert. So, as the snoring plumbers slumber, Bowser and his minions are planning to attack...and let's not forget that single disturbing cloud that seems to have somehow followed the Marios all the way to the desert...
In the darkness of early morning, a single spiked creature could be seen the moving in the large caravan that made up the koopa army. It plodded its way, slowly but surely, to the isolated tent of the Head Magikoopa. It was slowed down considerably by the troublesome scrap of parchment attatched to its back, but it determinedly continued on, picking its way through groups of sleeping Goombas, Troopas, and other ranks of the koopa troop. Just when it seemed as though he might make it, though, a loud buzz sounded and all the sleeping soldiers were on their feet at once, stumbling about to get into ranks. The attack on the desert palace was about to begin, and when the ranks of koopa soldiers had bugun the flight toward the battle, the Spiny was nowhere to be seen. The letter, however, lay trampled and dirt covered not far from Kamek's tent. It read:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Super Mario Bros. sighted at
desert palace! Danger!
~Lakitu~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Move out, Troops! Clear all runways!"
"This is Airship A, are we clear?"
"Clear! Commence flight!"
"This is Airship B, are we clear?"
"Clear! Commence flight!"
At the head of the fleet of 26 airships was the impressive royal battleship. It was twice as big as the other airships and adorned with a lot more decorations, too, one of which was a very large replica of Bowser's face on the bow, complete with shining rubies for eyes. It was also armed with fifty large canons, from which devasting bob-ombs were shot. Only the most prestigious koopas were ever given a chance to ride on this impressive war machine, and the only ones on it in this battle were Bowser, Taina and Zhen. Kamek and his order of Magikoopas flew in an intricate formation around it, Kamek leading, of course.
"By my calculations, we should reach the desert palace before the sun rises, sire."
"Good. That means all the mushrooms that do not go to investigate the sprung traps will be sleepy, and easy to capture."
"Indeed. This should be a breeze!"
"And then I will have seven of the nine provinces of the Mushroom Kingdom!"
I'm sure you must be wondering why on earth Bowser is interested in the desert, anyway, right? Well, this is why. The Mushroom Kingdom is made up of nine provinces, which are, from east to west, Darkland, Pipeland, Iceland, Skyland, Hugeland, Waterland, Desertland, Grassland, and Dinosaur World. Bowser had successfully overtook the four easternmost of these before anyone bothered to inform Princess Toadstool that her kingdom was being slowly invaded by koopas. This message was given by Lord Souse of the Water Palace. By the time the letter had reached Peach, however, it was too late to save the province. During the losing battle that she put up, however, she was kidnapped, and that's where the Mario Bros. come in. And so, Bowser only has three more provinces to overtake before he can be the supreme ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom. The Mushroom Capital is in Grassland, and Dinosaur World just west of that, too, if you were confused about that. Does that clear things up? (or make it more confusing?)
"We've almost reached the palace, Your Majesty. Requesting permission to spring traps?"
"Permission granted."
Upon hearing this, Kamek immediately gave his coven a signal, and the group of magikoopas silently swung down toward the desert palace. As the sun was still hidden behind the immense sand dunes, the magikoopas were only tiny shadows in the darkness. Loud noises were soon heard, however, as trap after trap was set off by the magic of the magikoopas. Kamek suddenly materialized in front of Bowser.
"The back traps are disarmed! Hurry and send in the ground troops before the mushrooms realize what's happened!"
"Right. Attention all airships! Release all ground troops now!"
Bowser's voice rang out over the fleet of airships. As each airship pilot heard it, he gave commands for all ground passengers to evacuate. The result was hundreds of koopa ground warriors jumping from the airships with simple parachutes to keep them from killing themselves. As soon as the troopas touched the ground, they began the sprint toward the lone palace.
"Now, retreat, Magikoopas! Let the troopas complete phase two of the plan!"
And so saying, Kamek dissapeared into thin air, as did each of his order. The first wave of koopas, meanwhile, had reached the palace and were dissapearing inside. The first troopa to enter stopped inside the large reception room, looking around in awe. The palace seemed so small on the outside, when in reality it was very large. The koopa's wonder did not last long, however, because his comrades soon entered behind him and he was once again caught up in the excitement of the battle.
"Which way do we go first?"
"Up the stairs, to get 'em while they sleep!"
"Toward the front, to get the alert ones before they can attack!"
A compromise was soon reached: half the battle force went up, and the other half to the front. The koopas that opted for the harder battle in the front of the palace soon met with a shock...Princess Toadstool was there!
"What's she doing here?" One uneasy Goomba shouted to another
Goomba.
"Who knows? But if we take her prisoner, we might get promoted!""Hey, yeah! Let's get her!"
Before they could accomplish that, though, they were met with another nasty shock...
"Take that, you disgusting creature!" Peach yelled, as she tossed a fully grown, ripe, healthy turnip at the nearest of her would-be kidnappers. Following the Princess' lead, the large militia of mushrooms behind her let loose with an onslaught of beets, turnips, pumpkins, and other vegetables.
"They have vegetables? In desertland?"
"There's only one way they could've gotten these...and that means..."
"They knew we were coming? But how?"
"I don't know, but unless you want to lose this fight, I suggest we stop pondering and start fighting!"
And so they did. But they were unprepared for the mushroom's readiness, and, at first, there were more casualties on the koopa's side then the mushroom's. However, the koopas had had more than just one training session, and soon began to take the lead. And not a one of them took it into their heads to inform Bowser that the Mushroom Princess was there...and that the mushrooms had been ready for them. We'll leave them there, for the moment.
The Koopas that chose to go up the stairs were very few, only about thirty or so of the entire force. They made their way up, and eventually reached what must have been the rooms...
"This is them! C'mon let's take some prisoners!"
"Oh, yeah!" The small army then bashed in a door, expecting to find a frightened, sleepy mushroom. Instead a koopa's nightmare awaited them...a large green yoshi who looked really pissed...and really hungry.
"Run! Run! It's a Yo-" That's as far as he got before Yoshi slurped him up in one gulp. The others got the message, though, and started off for the exit.
"Trying to run away, huh?" Yoshi said, but the words were hardly understandable due to the fact that he had a green turtle shell in his mouth. He hurriedly spit it out, though, and his aim was good. The turtle shell slid to where the terror-stricken koopas were running for their lives, hit, and knocked them all to the floor. Of course these happenings were very loud happenings, and they aroused the other three members of the Mario gang who were also in that particular hallway. The first out was Mario...
"What's going on out here?" And then he saw the group of Koopas, who were huddled together in a panic. Yoshi was calmly munching his thirteenth koopa, and soon had eaten them all.
"That can't have been all of them..." Remarked Toad, who had come out of his room along with Luigi while Yoshi feasted.
"The rest must be downstairs."
"Peach is down there!"
And that was enough to send them rocketing down the stairs, leaving the hallway empty, except for a group of turtle shells...and one very lucky koopa.
"I must go warn King Bowser!"
And so the frightened, dishelveled koopa dissapeared down the hallway toward the outside world, which had, during the course of the battle, gotten warm and sunny...
"Something's not right. We should have the pitiful Mushroom Lord and his followers groveling at my feet before my newly acquired throne by now!"
"Relax, my King. What could've gone wrong? Why, with the Marios on Yoshi's Island, there's absolutely nothing to stand in our way!"
"Yes, Taina, you're right....perhaps I am just too wired up..."
"Here you are, sire. This drink will relax your nerves, so you will be calm and more like your imperial self when you mount the throne of the Koopahari!"So saying, the female koopa handed Bowser a strange, greenish colored drink that had been left to her by Kamek. He had figured that Bowser would become agitated during the course of the takeover, and had left it to her to give to Bowser when it happened.
At the Taina's mention of the Mario's wherabouts, however, the single unnoticed smiling cloud floating above the palace gave a jerk. From it appeared a strange looking koopa with glasses.
"On Yoshi's Island? Those idiots! Did Kamek not get my message?" So saying, the strange koopa directed his cloud down toward the immense air ship that harbored Bowser and his two war masters.
"Hail, oh mighty King Bowser!"
"Lakitu! What are you doing here?" Bowser eyed the koopa suspiciously. Lakitu had a good twin, too, and it was virtually impossible to tell the two apart.
"Ha! I see that you do not trust me...but would my idiotic brother be carrying these?" So saying, he let fall a single red orb. When it hit the deck of the battleship, it cracked open and a spiny emerged from the shattered egg.
"So, it is you. What brings you here?"
"I was hired by your head Magikoopa, Kamek, to spy on the Mario Bros."
"That's Kamek, for you. Always thinking ahead. So why aren't you spying?"
"Don't you see? I am spying! The Marios are here!"
"What?! Here? Why didn't you tell us sooner?!" As Bowser said this, his face colored redder and redder until he let out a gust of flame at the cloud-bound koopa. He missed purposely, of course, because he wanted more information before he dealt out his punishment.
"I sent a message to your magikoopa...why he didn't receive it is a mystery to me. However, I am telling you know...The Mario Brothers are here!"
As the full weight of this statement fell on the Koopa King, his face paled visibly, though not as much as the faces of Taina and Zhen had.
"Your Majesty..." Zhen whispered, "You're bad feeling..."
"Kamek! I command you to show yourself at once!"
"Yes?" Kamek asked amiably, as he appeared in front of Bowser. "Is it time for-"
"No, great idiot, because you failed to realize that the Mario Brothers are here!"
"Impossible. A reliable source informed me not long ago...." he trailed off as he caught sight of Lakitu, floating above the battleship.
"You misbegotten son of a goomba and a koopa troopa! Why didn't you inform me when they had first arrived!?"
"I tried." Lakitu said simply, and then, sensing that Kamek was about to turn him into a disagreeable creature, disappeared in a puff of smoke, cloud and all. This left the four koopa war masters in a sorry state indeed...and as they debated on what they should do about the Marios, the battle in the palace was heating up...
"What are you doing? Attack, you lazy bums! In the name of the Great King Bowser, attack!"
And they did. However, they failed to realize, as they turned to fight this new threat, that an entire militia of angry mushrooms now lay at their backs. The mushrooms did not miss this, though, and they began to attack with new enthuisiasm. This left Mario, Luigi, Yoshi and Toad with a large problem, though...even with the entire militia plowing through the lines of koopa soldiers, they would never reach them in time to help. And so the four of them stood, facing an entire army of koopas, with the sounds of battle coming from behind the ranks of the army...it stayed that way for nothing more than a split second. Then the koopas attacked.
"Run!" Mario yelled, but all four were tearing down the great hall before the word had even left his mouth. The koopas ran clumsily, with their shell armor, so the foursome soon had a commanding lead. The last thing they heard as they turned the corner that led into the main hallway, and out into open air, was Peach's voice...somehow it carried over the stampeding koopas..."Don't you dare get killed!"
And then, as they burst into the hot desert air, all sound faded away as they stood, dumbfounded.
"What are you doing here?" Mario demanded, when he finally regained his voice. For standing before them was King Bowser himself, with two koopas that they didn't recognize, and a magikoopa that Mario seemed to vaguely remember from somewhere...
"I could ask the same thing of you, plumber," Bowser sneered, and then his hand went up and a commanding look took over his features. At this signal, the stampede of koopas streaming out of the palace stopped abruptly.
"And it seems as though you have yourself in a bit of a...spot, if you will..."
And indeed they were in a "spot", sandwiched between their arch-enemy and an army of well trained bloodthirsty koopas. (Where did that mushroom militia go!?) They all thought simultaneously, as the group of koopas formed a half-circle around them, with Bowser and his four cronies filling in the gap.
"I must admit, you managed to change my original plan quite a lot, but, despite your efforts, it appears as though the outcome will be as I'd hoped-"
"We'll never give in to you!"
"Bold words for a mushroom who's about to die...maybe I won't kill you. I could use guts like that in my army... How would you like to be a goomba?"
"Shut up, Bowser..."
At this, Bowser laughed heartily.
"Of course, Luigi..." He said the name in a mocking tone... "After all, they do say that actions speak louder than words, don't they?"
As this was going on, Yoshi was staring at the magikoopa by Bowser's side. (I'm sure that's him,) Yoshi thought. Mario and Luigi may have only vaguely recognized Kamek, but Yoshi remembered him quite well, from a long time before, when Mario and Luigi had been babies...Kamek had caused them many problems back then. And you know the saying...a yoshi never forgets... Just as Bowser was about to give the signal to attack...
"Kamek!"
Everything stopped, and everyone stared at Yoshi. Kamek turned toward the green dinosaur, and his gaze went from mild surprise, to utter astonishment, to bitter hatred.
"You! You're the reason these two meddlers are even here in the first place! If it wasn't for your tampering with fate, Bowser would already be the King of this wretched kingdom!"
Now it was Mario, Luigi, Bowser, and Toad staring at Yoshi in utter astonishment.
"Wha..."
"What are you talking about, Magikoopa?"
"This dinosaur," Kamek answered, "and his friends thwarted my attempts to destroy those two plumbers when they were infants!"
And now everyone stared at Yoshi in utter astonishment. (You better do something, Yoshi,) Mario thought, (and do it fast!) And he did do something, and he did it fast, too.
"Don't you dare, you little-" Kamek said, as he realized Yoshi's intent, but then he was gone, eaten."Kamek! Spit him out, you dinosaur freak! Spit...him...out!"
Yoshi couldn't answer, as he had his mouth of full of Kamek, who was desperately trying to cast a spell. Luigi saw what he wanted to say, though, and so he said it for him.
"Go away, Bowser. Then maybe we'll think about giving you your precious head magikoopa back."
"No! I will not let my takeover of this kingdom be stopped by the hunger of a...a...yoshi!" Bowser spat the word like a curse.
"Then I guess he'll just have to swallow him..."
"Wait!" Bowser stood, knowing that he was about to make the toughest decision of his life...even if the blasted dinosaur ate Kamek, he could still complete his takeover of Desertland...but it would mean giving up the Koopa Kingdom's only source of magic. Without the magikoopas, he would never be able to complete his takeover, but if he gave up now, it would be months, perhaps years, before this kingdom was relaxed enough to try another takeover...
"All right!" Bowser said in a strangled voice. "All right. Give me back my Magikoopa, and I'll leave."
"Ha!" Toad snorted, rolling his eyes.
"Do you think we're that stupid, Bowser? You leave, then the magikoopa gets spit out."
Bowser growled angrily, but called his army away from the small group of heroes. As the koopas reboarded the airships via long cables, Mario and Luigi never took their eyes of Bowser. They both knew that he would not leave without doing something...
"Very well. But you have not seen the last of me..." And he turned around, to return to his ship. Just as he reached the ship, though, he turned around with an evil glint in his eyes. Luigi realized his intention first, and shouted a warning.
But the warning came too late. Bowser's fire was streaming toward the plumbers before Luigi's "Get down!" could be registered, and then...
Yoshi spit Kamek out toward the fire. The result was a hastily constructed magical shield, which not only shielded the magikoopa, but the good guys as well. The spell took from the magikoopa the little remaining energy he had, and he collapsed on the ground.
"You've not heard the last of me, not you or your pet yoshi!" Bowser yelled, as he dissapeared over the horizon in his royal battleship, with his two war masters and his fleet of worthless troopas.
And the Plumbers, the Yoshi, and the Mushroom Retainer watched them go, with the unconcious magikoopa lying in front of them, unnoticed.
"I wonder what happened to the Mushroom army?" Toad finally said.
"And the Princess!" Mario and Luigi said at the same time. Luigi took advantage of it and yelled "Jinx!"
"Hey, that's not fair!" Mario complained, and Luigi promptly socked him.
(I'll get him for that later,) Mario vowed, and followed his friends into the palace to see just what had become of the Mushroom Militia.
And above them, Lakitu sat in his cloud, shaking his head ruefully.
"How did those koopas manage move those?" Toad asked in awe, for the statues were nearly twice as tall as Luigi.
"Who knows?"
"Who cares? Come on, I can't move these alone."
"Yeah, everyone knows that tall people are notoriously weak."
"Yeah, well, everyone also knows that short people are notoriously fat."
"Stop arguing and help us move these!" Yoshi yelled, giving them reproving looks.
With a lot of pushing, pulling, grunting, shoving, and complaining, the four managed to move the statues blocking the door. They opened the thick doors, and were immediately assaulted by the questions of the mushrooms within.
"What happened?"
"Did we win?"
"Is that mean ol' koopa creep gone yet?"
"You guys kicked butt, right?"
"Of course they did stupid, they're the Super Mario Brothers!"
"Calm down! They can't answer any of your questions if you don't give them time to answer!" So saying, Peach quieted the mushrooms down enough so that the Mario gang could get in a word. They explained what had happened, and Yoshi was cheered by the mushrooms enthusiastically.
"So you guys didn't get to kick their butts?"
"Not this time, shroom. Maybe if we weren't surrounded by a bunch of koopa troopas with spears, we would have, though."
Hearing this, the young mushroom and his friend pretended to be Mario and Luigi, but soon got into an argument over who should be Bowser.
"But there has to be a Bowser, or else who're we gonna fight?"
"So you be Bowser, since you're the ugliest!"
"I am not ugly!" And so on, and so on....
After the mushrooms had heard what happened, they went on to do other things. Most of them ended up in the dining hall. This left Peach, Mario, Luigi, Toad, and Yoshi alone.
"So...what do we do now?" Toad asked, more to break the silence than anything else.
"I don't know. It doesn't seem right to just leave..." Peach sighed. "But what else is there to do? We've done all we can here."
"Until Bowser decides to attack again, that is." Mario looked out one of the many windows in the room, his face an unreadable mask.
"Right. But I think we'll figure that problem out when we come to it," Luigi replied, his face grim. "Of course, It'll be awhile before his pride heals, thanks to you, Yoshi."
"Think nothing of it." Yoshi yawned, then grinned. "Before I leave, I'm getting something to eat! I haven't eaten all day."
"It's not so far into the day, you know."
"Yeah, well, I'm still starving!" Yoshi yawned again, and then he added, as an afterthought, "And after that I think I'm gonna go to sleep."
Mario turned away from the window. He walked over to where his friends stood, and replied, "You and everyone else, I would imagine. You're right about that starving bit, though. Let's go join the rest of the 'shrooms and get some food!"
"I wonder if they have any vegatables left? Desert food is always so dry!" Toad complained, then added, "But I am starving, I guess. I don't see how, especially after standing so close to Bowser! I was sure I'd never have an appetite again, after that!"
They made their way to the dining hall, where they were greeted by Lord Torrid. He was sitting at the head of the room, at the most prestigious table in the place, of course. He signaled for them to join him.
"Sit, sit, please! What is it you'll have today? Steamed cacti is the best selling dish at the moment..."
After they were seated, and their plates had been delivered, they went on to discuss other matters. All except Toad, who didn't care much for farewells, and Yoshi, who was too busy stuffing his face to care.
"Well, I suppose you'll be leaving soon."
"I'm afraid so. My six retainers that were left at the kingdom will probably die of worry if I don't return soon, I'm afraid."
"Yes, well...the threat of the koopas has been quelched, at least. For now..."
"Don't worry, Torrid. It will be awhile before Bowser attempts to complete his conquest of my kingdom."
"Yeah, Not only was his army damaged, his pride was, too."
"I suppose you all are right, but I'll still worry."
"We all will. Until the koopas are completely exiled back to Darkland, no one will sleep easy."
"But we can do it! We'll beat back Bowser and his bunch of cronies, some day!"
"Some day..."
After the goodbyes were done, the group of five left the dining hall, and left the palace. Unfortunately, the rude bus driver from Nimbus Land had deserted them. This left them with no ride home. This was soon resolved, however, because Lord Torrid had a substantial variety of treasures in his treasury, and these included raccoon feathers. As for Toad, Peach, and Yoshi, well, there were plenty of blue koopas in Bowser's army, and more than one had lost its shell that day.
With everyone airborn and anxious to be going, they gave their final farewell to the desert mushrooms, and Lord Torrid, and set off. It was a long ride, especially for Peach and Toad. A yoshi is usually a very comfortable ride, but an airborn one is another story. Not to mention that it was a very long ride home.
"I can't wait to get home!"
"Me either! I want to give that ungracious bus driver a piece of my mind!" Peach was very angry at him for abandoning them, as you can probably imagine.
"The only thing I regret," Yoshi sighed, "Is that now I can't sleep on the way home."
"You said it, Yoshter!" Mario and Luigi agreed.
"Hey, Mario, do you think we'll get home in time to watch our cartoon?"
"You've seen every episode already."
"So?"
"Nevermind..."
"Oh, come on! You guys can't be thinking about watching TV when we get home!"
"Why not? It's relaxing, and by the time I get home, I'm gonna be a walking zombie!"
Toad sighed. "You guys can be so boring sometimes."
"Deal with it."
The conversation continued the entire way home, which was a long way, you know. They finally landed just outside the palace. Peach and Toad got off of Yoshi and bid them farewell. Well, Peach tried to, anyway, but it's kind of hard of bid someone farewell with six overprotective mushrooms herding you into your castle.
Mario and Luigi continued their flight with Yoshi until they reached their house. They then landed and waved goodbye to their friend. As it turns out, they made it just in time for the Super Mario Brothers Super Show. As Yoshi took off for Yoshi's Island, he could hear them complaining about the innaccuracy of the show.
Yoshi flew on toward his house. (I can't wait to get home. I'm so tired!), he thought. As he neared Yoshi's Island, he began to see the smoke from the tree houses in the distance. Soon the voices of yoshis could be heard, faintly. He distinctly heard Abba, though.
"Alright already, Zina! I won't eat anymore of the bananas off your tree! Sheesh..."
Yoshi smiled at that. Abba's favorite fruit, besides melons, which were definitely the best, was bananas. (I don't see how he can like bananas more than watermelons, though. I think he's nuts.)
Yoshi landed just outside his house. He was prepared for the barage of questions, and after everyone was let in one the news, he retired to his bedroom. (Maybe,) he thought, as he drifted off to sleep, (I'll take all the bananas off Abba's tree later. Wouldn't that just be hilarious...)
Meanwhile, back at the koopa base in Darkland, Bowser was in a very foul mood. He paced the floor angrily, and every koopa in the fortress, including his children, was careful to avoid him. He stomped toward the inner caverns, where a gigantic volcano spewed lava out in great quantities. (For all the good it does me,) Bowser thought bitterly. (Not even lava stops those meddling plumbers and their friends!) He sat on an outcropping of rock, taking pleasure in the devastating heat of the lava source of the koopa empire. As he breathed in the noxious fumes, he contemplated what his next move would be. (I can't retaliate as soon as I would like to,) he thought, and his eyes narrowed ominously. (But I won't be denied this kingdom!)