Bowser was in his throne room, surfing on the web on his laptop computer. He growled a deep growl and kept looking at what he saw.
At that very moment, one of his trusted servants, Lakitu, entered the room.
"Master Bowser, I wish?"
"Shut up."
"Umm, as I was saying?"
"I SAID SHUT UP YOU FOOL!"
"Right." For a minute, Lakitu stood silent and watched Bowser. Finally Lakitu broke the silence.
"Master Bowser, what are you doing?"
"What does it look like I?m doing? I?m surfing the web!"
"Why?"
"I?m looking at all these stupid Mario websites!"
"Why would you be looking at that?"
"It?s simple! They give so much advice about how to beat me. No wonder Mario knows all my weaknesses! He just comes to the sites!"
"So why are you looking at them?"
""So I can get really mad! I haven't got really mad in a long time!"
"I see."
"And if that wasn?t enough! They are other sites that give him so much credit and glory! Have you ever been on a Mario website? Do you know many stories are on Mario? Tons! Do you know how many there are on me? Very, very, very few!"
"Or you just haven?t seen them all."
"Well, I?ve seen enough! It?s time to take action!"
"What are you going to do?"
"I?m going to destroy these blasted sites!"
"How, with a virus?"
"Exactly! Except this virus is going to be a little different! The virus will be?me!"
Far off in Mushroom Kingdom, Mario himself was on his computer, looking at the websites, on him.
"Ahh. Look at all my devoted fans. They?re crazy about me, and why not? I?m the Super Mario. And I hope they make more sites in the future." As Mario was gazing at his computer screen, his brother Luigi entered.
"Hey Mario, the phones won?t work?oh. You?re on the Internet. What are you looking up?"
"My websites."
"Oh, you made some websites?"
"No, I?m looking at websites people made about me!"
"Oh. Any websites on me?"
"A few."
"A few? Only a few?"
I haven't come across too many."
"Move over!" With that, Luigi pushed Mario down and took his computer. As he surfed through the web, he smiled a proud smile.
"You were wrong Mario. Look at all these websites on me! Maybe more than you!"
"Let me see that!" Mario stared at the computer.
"Well?"
"Well nothing! You see I?m just plain better than you are! Everybody loves me!"
"Whatever."
"What did you just say?"
"I said whatever!"
"Listen Mario! Why don?t we settle this little matter! Of who?s the best!"
"Just how do we do that?"
"We look all over the World Wide Web and make careful count of websites on each of us. Whoever has the most websites, mean we have the most fans! And if I have more sites I?m the best brother! If you have more, you?re the best! Deal?"
"Hmm?well?um?okay, deal!" With that, Luigi and Mario shook hands and made their proud and stupid bet.
Back at Bowser's Keep...
Bowser and Lakitu, down in the basement, were talking with the smartest Koopa in the Koopa Troop. Ludwig von Koopa. Bowser asked,
"So you think you can do it? I mean, make me appear inside of the computer and make it where I can be a virus?"
"Hmm. Put you, Bowser, in the computer?"
"Yep."
"I?m afraid that?s impossible, but I can make it where a cyber version of you is sent into the computers, and I can make it where you control it."
"Like a virtual reality game?"
"Exactly!"
"Do it!" That?s when Lakitu stepped in.
"Have either of you considered the Mario Bros. as a problem? I mean, if they were to find out what you were doing to websites about them, they might, stop you." Bowser and Ludwig gave Lakitu very annoyed looks. That?s when Bowser replied.
"Of course I considered it! And I?ve decided to make you guard the castle door! Now get!" Lakitu flew out the door, and Ludwig began to work.
Back in Mario's House...
"Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred? Phew." Mario was still counting and writing down the numbers.
"Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred? Sheesh." That was Luigi counting. As you can see, a tie was going on. Eventually, both of the brothers were suffering pasta-cravings, took a break, went to the Mushroom Kingdom?s Italian buffet, and gorged themselves on Italian food.
Sitting at the same table, they began to brag.
"I?ve, (munch), found at, (gulp), least, (slurp), one hundred, (belch), on me," said Mario. Luigi, who had better manners, swallowed his food and said,
"I've found one hundred, too!"
"Then we have a tie."
"Tell you what. We?ll raise the stakes. Not only will the winner be the best brother, but the other has too be the winners slave for two weeks."
"Okay, and the looser has too pay for an all-paid trip to Jamacia for the winner, when we get back to earth."
"Also, the winner gets the Gamecube system bought for him, and the looser has to buy it, with his own money!"
"Deal!" They both shook hands.
Back in Bowser's Keep...
Ludwig had finally finished his machine. It was a giant computer, the size of a mini-van. Attached to it was a small chamber for Bowser, inside, was a virtual reality headset and gloves. Ludwig laughed out loud.
"Ha, ha, ha! A thing of beauty is a joy forever! And this machine is wickedly beautiful, and it shall bring you, Dad, joy forever!" Ludwig patted his machine.
"Right, so, explain."
"Alright. This computer is the most powerful in the universe."
"That explains why it?s so big."
"With this, I shall connect to the Internet, and log onto the Mario sites. Then, I shall flip this switch here, and that?s when Virus Bowser comes into action! You see you will be in that small chamber, the headset shall go over your eyes, and the gloves on your hands. You shall be able to control Virus Bowser?s every move! Inside each glove is a button. Press them to send out weaker bugs."
"This is perfect! When do we start?"
"Now!" Ludwig got Bowser ready, turned on the computer, which drained every source of power to turn on and he connected to the Internet.
"Now Dad, I?m going too Yahoo, and I shall type, Mario sites. There! Now, searching, searching? There we go. Now I shall click on one. Okay, here we go. We?re on one. I?m turning your part of the machine on." Ludwig connected some wires to plugs and pressed three buttons.
"Now, Dad, when I flip the switch, the Virus Bowser will appear, and destruction will begin, are you ready?"
"Ready as I'll ever be."
"Alright," he slowly reached for the switch. "Prepare to destroy the sites, NOW!!!!!" He flipped the switch and Virus Bowser appeared!
Bowser laughed a crazy laugh.
"Gwa, ha, ha, ha! I can feel it! Power! I feel powerful!"
"Destroy, destroy them Dad!" With the touch of the buttons, Virus Bowser began spreading smaller, green, in-the-form-of-a-chain, bugs and they destroyed everything.
"Yes! Now, Mario will not find out how to beat me!" He destroyed everything, and went to another site, and another, and another. His plan was working to perfection.
Back at Mario's house...
Mario knew something was wrong. Most of his sites had vanished. Same with Luigi. The brothers got together. Mario looked worried.
"I don?t understand. What?s happening?"
"I don?t know. Let?s click on this site here. He clicked on a site, and then, they saw it. The Virus Bowser. They looked at each other and yelled,
"Bowser!" They rushed toward Bowser's Keep.
Once again, at Bowser?s Keep.
At the front gate, Lakitu was patrolling.
"For crying out loud. I?m always assigned the boring work." That?s when he saw the Mario Bros. rushing for the Keep.
"Holy smokes! Mario and Luigi! WhatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdowhatdoIdo? I know! I?ll let Ludwig handle this!" He rushed for the basement and barged in where he saw Bowser raising his hands in the air and Ludwig jumping up and down shouting,
"Destroy! Destroy!" Lakitu yelled out,
"Mario and Luigi are here!" Ludwig stopped jumping and turned around.
"Well why didn?t you handle them yourself? You idiot!"
"Because, I don?t know why. I?m a chicken I guess."
"You got that right. Hey Dad! Mario and Luigi are here!"
"You handle them yourselves!" Ludwig and Lakitu ran out only to see the Mario Bros. beating up sentry men. They ran past them and ran up to the repitles. Mario growled.
"What's the big idea?"
"Yeah? What?s the big idea?" Ludwig smiled.
"Only the best idea in the century. Destroy the websites about you two and stop you from gaining information on how to defeat the Koopa Troop!" Luigi snarled back,
"Well this is gonna? stop!" Luigi tackled Lakitu and pinned him to the ground. Ludwig pulled out a wand from his shell and shot out a magic ray. Mario barely got out of the way and shot Ludwig with a fireball.
"Did that burn or what?" Ludwig glared at Mario and once again, shot his ray. And once again, Mario dodged.
"Little slow on the draw today, Ludwig!"
"Oh, shut up!" Lakitu had knocked Luigi off and was beginning to hurl Spikeys at Luigi. The first two knocked Luigi down but then Luigi punched a Spikey back at Lakitu, knocking him out.
Ludwig, once again, shot his wand, Mario jumped out of the way, and it hit Lakitu, turning him into a rock.
"Oh man!" While Ludwig was staring at his transformed partner, the Mario Bros. jumped him and held him down. After a lot of struggling, Ludwig, exhausted, gave up. Then, Mario broke down the door. They saw the computer, they saw the chamber, and they saw Bowser. Mario yelled out,
"Turn off the computer Bowser. Stop your virus!"
"Sorry plumber, I?m gonna? win this time."
At this time, Bowser had found the site, the Mushroom Kingdom Squad?s Domain. He was revolted at the large music section, the big fanfiction, the giant guestbook, the quiz, all the pictures of his enemies, and the staff.
"The staff section," he thought, "is the first thing to go!" Bowser was about to send out his bugs when he heard the Mario Bros., franticly trying to switch off the computer. That?s when Mario got an idea.
"I?m gonna? do this my way!" He scrunched down and jumped on top of the computer. The force of his jump smashed the computer into little pieces.
Immediately, Virus Bowser vanished and Bowser screamed in rage.
"Not fair! No! No! No!" Bowser, then, busted out of the chamber, pulled off his gear, and roared.
"It?s time for you to die!" He sprang in the air, with his claws extended, and was about to slash Mario, when Luigi jumped into Bowser, knocking the Koopa over.
"Take that, Bowser!" Suddenly, at that moment, Ludwig heard the commotion and managed to get to his feet. He pulled out his wand and shot. He barely missed the Mario Brothers' heads and hit Bowser. Bowser turned into a rock. Mario and Luigi began to laugh. They headed out of the castle and took off to Mushroom Kingdom. As it turned out, the Mario Bros. never found out who was the best and but are still trying to find out who is, the websites which Bowser destroyed are now rebuilt, and Ludwig is still trying to figure out how to transform Lakitu and Bowser back to normal. Sounds like a good ending to me.
